The Quest For Happiness

Today, I am overwhelmed with joy and happiness. I don’t know exactly why or where it stemmed from but I know it was sent to me by my Father in Heaven. A couple of weeks ago, I had a mission reunion on BYU campus and President and Sister Packard were able to come from Texas. Every time I see and hear from them I am always filled with love and joy and gratitude for them, and for the experiences they helped me have on my mission. While president was speaking I had kind of a sad feeling, a sort of depressed feeling that I wasn’t good enough to be friends with the Packard’s or the other missionaries. But after the meeting I went to talk with President and Sister Packard, and President immediately hugged me and told me how proud he is of me and how happy I look. That shocked me because I was not feeling happy at all but for some reason I portrayed to him happiness and contentment in my life. That really stuck to me and I have been thinking about it ever since. I went home and talked to my mom about it and she said the same thing that I look exceedingly happy, and I could not understand why, especially when I was actually feeling down and sad about myself and my life. But today, I have a new perspective.

I was sitting in relief society today, and we were talking about Christ-like love and how we have seen it and felt it in our lives. There was this nagging feeling in me that wanted me to feel bad for myself, and not be happy or feel loved. But the thing is, it couldn’t stay. I don’t know how to describe it but I recognized that it was there but it was extremely faint. I had/have far too much happiness and love in my heart and my mind today that negative thoughts could not latch on and live. I was set apart as a Temple Patron after church by Brother Bill Betz. He is the new second counselor in the bishopric. He is amazing and so kind and loving. As a temple patron I will be expected to attend the temple weekly and encourage others to go as well. They are thinking of making it a committee so we can make a bigger difference in the ward in helping everyone attend more frequently. I am really excited! I am already getting ideas of talking to the Elders Quorum and Relief Society and making a ward temple day or something along those lines. Brother Betz gave me such a lovely and endearing blessing which really filled my heart to overflowing with love and gratitude. He talked a lot about how proud Heavenly Father is of me and how aware He is of me, my wants, needs, and deepest desires. My Father is grateful for my faith and love for Him and His Son. After the blessing Brother Betz was telling me how women are given so much in the church and from our Father in Heaven and one thing that God gives the men to try and keep up with the women is the priesthood. And with the priesthood they are able to see a glimpse of how God truly sees us and who we really are, and Brother Betz just looked at me and said simply but with such love and admiration, “you are amazing”, and then thanked me for my faithfulness and service. He also told me not to get comfortable in this one calling because they, the bishopric, have been talking about me. I told him that I would love to serve in any capacity they want, I just want to serve. I have the greatest and deepest desire, right now, to serve and lift the hands that hang down, the hearts that are troubled and weary, and the weak who need some extra strength.

I cannot contain my happiness today. There is so much to be grateful for. My Father is leading me along, I know it. I know He led me here, to Utah State, for a reason. I love this ward, I don’t know what it is about it but it has such a wonderful spirit about it. Everyone I meet is another incredible person that I dearly want to get to know better and be friends with. I am so grateful for the people I met here and have as friends. I am so incredible blessed! I love and revere my God and my Savior. I love the gospel and the complete joy it brings and will bring in the eternities. I am so humbled today. I am deeply grateful for my family, each and every one of them. They bring so much to my life and my joy. They each bring so much faith, joy, and many other special characteristics to our family. I cannot wait to have a family of my own to add to this incredible family unit.

I have so much on my mind and heart but I cannot bring the right words to explain my feelings. All I can really say is, I have never felt so happy in my life. I am incredibly grateful for the millions of blessings the Lord has sent down to all of us here on earth at this time. We are so lucky to be here in the last days.